And the river turns

Disdain, had its eye on fire.
Shadows of dandelions used to fall
across my feet - where I now stand -
as did my children. Renting
life in each other's arms, under
that little pride we chose not to weep.
They raped, but left my wife only cut,
and me from the inside, forever lit

as I began to hear more in the dark.
About the menstrual sickness,
the turning of the book shelf,
boiling of the antelope's horns
in a town far, far from here,
where a feast prepared - they
called it the holocaust - of her
body as soup, and my brain as the bone.

Yellow gloves of contentment

Mid-July, we sat, with our
hands inside yellow gloves
as I tried not to look through
every blasted hole .
We were henchmen, of
seeking-the-white-in-smoke
Trees, even the ones
I visualized, burned down.
Grandma now, stood alone
in front of the Taj Mahal.

How the fish would have
contemplated swimming in
boiling water, or how the
neighbour dog would have
tucked in, the tongue that so loosely
hangs, a little while after it started -
these were softening glances, Maa said,
of eyes that had now opened
inside of us - but need not speak now.
Father, she said, needed
the quietness - it was worse enough
his food tasted like ash
even in office.

Do you have something for me to read ?

There may not come a day
when we no longer count
our fingertips,as peaks
we feel all better for life on,
he wised,and I could tell
he knew what he
was saying.I had to try
and confront him, because
I never quite belonged;
and I thought I knew my
mountains from the unpoetic
apparatus.I had theories about
recreation, while he likened
to the kind of man with
something he'd want to have
and someone he'd like
to be. A rush of cold-blooded
city breath turning over inside
his chest could be heard
whenever he spoke.It hurt me
immensely, that he referred to
poetry as whiskers-but-no-teeth.
They are like watchmen,
fond of wishing - Poets that is
he said.The poems,
and these were his last words
before he left for ever,
are their apologies to themselves
for wishing for someone else's
sleep.I stayed back for an
hour or so, after which I told
myself - I have stayed back an hour
or so, there is no point in leaving now

Someone asked me, when will you settle down?

I would feel settled
if that is some sort of thing
I know my mother is settled
because she tells me - bring
good luck if not good money
There are threads of discontent
I leave behind, like flicking my
tail while in the middle of a dog-train
My father, who is also settled
weaves them into plain
soliloquies which I trust
him to share at some
point in the future
I know the neighbourhood
is settled because men
and women gather to tee-hee
in the streets - some misfortune
in each guffaw, some
dents in each car
The city, must be settled
as there is no escape from the
identity of its weak -
as is with every other city
There is a whole lot of chewed gum
sticking to the underbelly
Country, of course, is settled
since there are no second
births, there are just second
lives. Lives that cannot
be lost ,or lived for free -
the economy of all of it
I'm not settled because
I exist on maps, feed on
arguments, and unrealistically
valued as real, like - borders

Lingerie

At times, I detested you growing up.
As if my conscience had been nabbed
from remembering us, twined
in a corner of the yard, in summers -
tarrying sustenance of any kind -
in winters, the breakers of spring.
Your windows, once glazed
with poop pictures,
I drew for you-now with
spunky whites,laced with black and blue
unfit for scoping, through my hands.
Hands from whose shell, the oysters
have stepped out - as if toe to toe,
You still had bigger steps to take.
And now there is this void, of ineptitude-
You never talk. You only ask.
But I promise,
I will find something for us to do

Quietude,for Gaza

Room,
  cradled in whistling
silhouettes
      of men,women
and children,who were
    once there

away from the awful
       silence,
     unlike, my heart,

far from exploding

The infestation

At the table,opposite her
   peering through the window
 at a city,routinely unengaged.


    The photographs on the walls,often,
made
me sweat.Blown into a crevasse
   of reality,they were challenges
to it.
Carefully vacuumed,as always
          the plate tilted,
and the food tasteless,i saw 

 a rat scurry across
     the kitchen floor,and towards
her nonchalant face i stared,

the nerve of her-
   
    She knew poison could 
slow me down,but love,love
     would kill me